Oops!

Today is Tuesday 5th March 2013, which means I haven't posted on this blog in over four months.. OOPS! My bad! Guess I've been lazy about writing it, but I'm going to get back into it, I promise! I've never been very good at keeping diaries but I'm using this as my version of one to look back on in the future and remember the "good 'ol days". And by making it a public blog, it means I have to keep it up-to-date, otherwise I just look boring!
So here goes nothing...

To think it's almost 1/4 of the way through 2013 is craaaaazy! But looking back, there's already been loads of awesome stuff that's happened this year and I know there's so much more to come!

I'll admit that at the beginning of 2013 I was on the "new year, new me" bandwagon for a while. The new year is always refreshing and feels like a new start.. but in reality, it's no different to any other time in the year and you can make a change in your life whenever you want to - you don't need a new date for an excuse to better yourself!

For reasons I'm not really sure of, in the last few months, I've become a lot more confident and secure in who I am. So I got over the "new year, new me" phase and realized that even though I'm not perfect... that's okay because no-one is except Jesus! God designed me to be unique from everyone else and I don't want to change myself to be someone I'm not just because that's what the media or society tells me to do! I am perfect in the eyes of my Creator, and that's the only opinion I care about! Nothing I can do will make Him love me more or less than He does right now and that's unbelievably comforting to know! Now, the only way in which I'm trying to change myself is to be more like Jesus. He is the perfect example of how to live our human lives and in all I do I want to become more like Him! That's the only way I can make myself better than I am today.. not by getting better clothes or nicer hair, or having a really good-looking boyfriend, or even having loads of friends.

I'm so fortunate to have this internship with my church because it's really helping me grow and moulding me to be more Jesus-like! Serving in my church, being challenged with new tasks, constantly being surrounded with supportive people, and most importantly, being able to spend a lot of time with God in prayer, bible study sessions, and general worship in my every day life has led to me really accepting how much God loves me and how special I am to Him. He's helped me become so much more comfortable in my skin and actually love myself instead of wanting to change every aspect of my being like I've wanted to for so many years! Having the pressure of changing who I am to please others off my shoulders is such a relief. Now, I can just relax and be me! Don't get me wrong, I'm not completely there yet. I'm still on the journey to self-acceptance and I do struggle a lot with falling into old thinking habits, but God always draws me back to Him saying "Come and find comfort in me. Accept my love into your heart and let it take over your whole being. Your life will never be the same again."

So if you're reading this, firstly thank you for sticking with me through all my rambling above, and secondly just take a minute to reflect on how much God loves you. All the things I've talked about apply just as much to you as they do to me. God is seeking you and will never stop pursuing you. Let Him in. Let His love fill your heart and you won't need to find acceptance anywhere else!

P.S. I recently got a tattoo that reads "Found in Grace" because my identity, my worth, my whole life is rooted (or "found"), in God's unyielding love for me and all the undeserving gifts he's blessed me with!